To Love is to Forgive
by Schmelly Inc
Summary: Caitlin betrays her friends, what will she do if they don't forgive her and who will help her when they don't? Rated T to be safe and for later. JudexCaitlin and slight JonesyxNikki
1. The Flashback

**To Love is to Forgive**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own any of the 6teen characters _**

**_Side Note: This story revolves around the episode 'Pillow Talk"_**

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**Chapter 1: The Flashback**

Flashback

"How could you do this to us Cait?" Jen said. "It was an accident, I said I was sorry, even after I embarrassed myself for you guys,

you still can't forgive me?" Caitlin pleaded. "Yeah…umm no! Even your whole TP escapade can't make up for that betrayal. We

trusted you!" Nikki stated. "Wyatt? Jonesy? … Jude? Even you guys can't forgive me?" Caitlin practically cried. "That was real

low dudette." Jude said, the pain evident in his voice. Caitlin could feel the hatred radiating off her "friends". Jonesy turned his

back to her and said "I can't believe I ever trusted you, I think you should go."

End of Flashback

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That is the first chapter, well more of a prologue but whatever! Please read and review. 


	2. In Need of a Hug

Next chapter up!

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Chapter 2: In Need of a Hug 

Caitlin hugged her tear-stained pillows. She felt disgusting, she couldn't even face her mirror, a thing she used to love. "Caitlin!

…honey your job starts soon, better get ready." her mother called from downstairs. "_My job…I can't work there anymore, I can't _

_face the gang, I was a terrible friend." _Caitlin wiped her nose and grabbed her purse, she undid the clasp and found her cell

phone. " I guess I'm going to have to quit. The guys probably wouldn't want to see me anyways." She dialled Big Steve's number

and waited for him to pick up. "Howdy! What can Big Steve do for y'all?" "Hey Big Steve… It's Caitlin, I have to quit." "What

for! You're the best employee I've ever had! Why, sales go up 55 when you're on the job." Big Steve boasted. "Wow really, that's

great… but I'm afraid I have to quit, I don't feel that the environment is…umm right for me." Caitlin said unhappily. "Well that's

a darn shame Caitlin, but if you really feel that way, consider yourself unemployed." "Bye Big Steve, and… Thanks." Caitlin

closed her cell phone and put it on her dresser. _"Oh, I really need a hug right now…" _"Mommm!" Caitlin yelled. She heard her

mom hurry up the steps, and open her door. "Cait…What's the matter?" her mom said worriedly. "Mom I really need a hug…"

Cait managed to say between her sobs.

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Next Chapter coming soon...I hope you enjoyed ths one! 


	3. Locked Herself in the Lemon Perhaps?

Here is the third chapter, I know they are kind of short but ... there is a sequel coming up so hopefully that kind of makes up for it.

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Chapter 3: Locked Herself in the Lemon Perhaps?

The food court looked empty without the bright yellow Big Squeeze open for business. The table, their table, was empty for

now. Jude was the first one at the Big Squeeze. He skated towards their usual table, misjudged the distance, and ended up flat on

his stomach on top of the table. "Whoa…I definitely need to work on that dude." He then gently placed Sally (his beloved

skateboard) on the table and walked up to the lemon. Jude figured he could get free drinks from now on from Caitlin, considering

she told Dustin their embarrassing moments, his worst moment. He saw that it was closed but came to the conclusion she was

hiding inside, too ashamed to show her face. He then knocked loudly three times to get her to open it up. Confusion lined his face

when it didn't open. _"Hmm… I guess I'll just wait till the rest of the gang gets here, for back-up, she'll open up for sure."_.

Sensing defeat, for the moment, he plopped down on his usual chair and waited. " Man I could use a lemon whip right now, I'm so

thirsty, dude." _"Caitlin sure made the best lemon whips…_ He thought to himself. Jude didn't have to wait to long, Jonesy, Nikki,

Wyatt, and Jen showed up in less than ten minutes. "Where's Lemonhead, I could use a free lemonade right about now." Nikki

said, disdain laced her words. "I'm pretty sure she's inside hiding, dudette doesn't want to show her face." Jude said. " She

shouldn't after what she did." Wyatt said, sipping his latte. At that moment Big Steve showed up with a big "Help Wanted" sign

under his arm. " Hey Big Steve what are you up to?" Jen asked. "Oh just putting up this sign, Caitlin quit this morning so I've got

to find me a new employee. Say Jen, you wouldn't be interested in working here again would ya?" "No sorry sir," Jen said " I'm

quite happy with my job at the Penalty Box." " Well it was worth a try. Have yourselves a g'day." Big Steve said as he walked

away. "Well at least we won't have to see her sorry face anymore." Jonesy said triumphantly. A round of "yea's" "woohoo's " and

"all right's" sounded round the table. "Finally we got rid of that Barbie" Nikki said, sarcasm dripping from her words. " I couldn't

agree more, Nikki." Jen nodded in agreement. "Oh! I should probably get to work, see you later." Jen then headed to the Penalty

Box sporting her referee shirt. "Later!" they all called after her.

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Please keep reading and reviewing! Next chapter Caitlin decides to try and get a new job and possibly replace her friends? Find out next chapter... 


	4. Staying Positive

Here is chapter 4 guys! I know it's short but chapter 5 will be longer.

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Chapter 4: Staying Positive

Even after a hug fest with her mom Caitlin didn't feel any better. She was now friendless and jobless. "Maybe I should think

about getting a new job…but it has to be somewhere far from the gang, they probably hate my guts." Caitlin tried to put a positive

spin on things. "If I get a new job maybe I'll make some new friends, yeah that's it!" "Hmm… but they'll probably never be as

helpful, sweet, honest, funny, and caring as the gang was." Caitlin mentally slapped herself. _"I have to stay positive!" s_he told

herself. Caitlin then rushed to her bathroom, put a pastel pink bow clip in her hair, pulled on a white strapless sundress, matching

pastel pink ballet flats, fixed her make-up, grabbed her purse and cell and headed downstairs. "Hey mom…" "Yes sweetie?" "Umm

do you think that I could get a drive to the mall? I was thinking that I'd apply for a new job with a better…atmosphere." Caitlin

said. " Sure honey just let me grab my keys."

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Okay I know it was short but please R&R and hoped you enjoyed it. In the next chapter Caitlin thinks about her feelings towards a certain skater boy... I think we all know who he is.

Cheers!


	5. Her Feelings

Heres the next chapter. Enjoy and R&R!

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Chapter 5: Her Feelings

Caitlin slid into her mom's SUV, buckled her seatbelt, and waited for her mom. As she waited she found herself thinking about

what she would be doing if the gang had forgave her or better yet if she hadn't done it at all. She felt so horrible. She remembered

when the gang first confronted her, how hurt they all looked. But the one person in the gang that had shattered her heart just by the

look he gave, was Jude. The weeks before the fight began had been some of the best. They grew closer, she told him things she had

never told anyone, he made her feel safe, whenever he was around she felt calm like no matter what happened everything would be

alright. She thought she was falling in love. She could tell him anything; open up her heart to him. But then he met this other girl,

he went out with her. It was then that Caitlin pushed away her feelings. She convinced herself that what she felt was just their

bonds of friendship growing stronger. Caitlin then met Dustin, a nice enough guy, she went out with him. She acted as if he could

actually be "the one". Not even. She couldn't help it, being around Jude made her feel things she never had. But then the day when

she betrayed everyone. She felt the feelings he possibly could have had for her, slip away…

Caitlin was jerked away from her thoughts by the slam of her mother's car door. "Ready to go?" her mom asked.

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Next chapter is I guess you could say in Jude's POV but it isn't really. R&R! 


	6. His Feelings

This chapter is like Jude's thoughts but I can't really say that it's in his POV. Anyways enjoy!

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Chapter 6: His Feelings 

Jude watched as Jen walked to her job. Sure, he was sort of glad Caitlin quit, but on the other hand he was really sad as well.

Even though she had betrayed them all, he was worried about the petite blonde. Jude thought it was just his imagination but the

few weeks before the fight, really changed the way he looked at Cait. They spent hours talking about everything, he felt like there

was nothing he couldn't say. Deep down, Jude had the biggest crush on Caitlin but he never thought he was good enough. "_She _

_never would have liked me that way…"_Jude was lost in thought, staring into space. The gang was used to this so they didn't

question him. He knew he could never hate Caitlin, she was too sweet, and caring. She went out of her way just to help her friends.

The whole thing was an accident, and he truly admired how she humiliated herself. His embarrassing moment wasn't a big deal to

him really. Starr was old news, sure he felt lost when she dumped him but the whole gang helped him through it. He felt so many

different and wonderful emotions when he was around Cait, he remembered when he let Cait ride on his skateboard. That was a

big thing, Jude usually never let anyone near his skateboard. They had so much fun, sure she fell the first time but she got back on,

except that time she went on with Jude. She was behind him on the board with her arms around his waist. He never knew anything

could feel so right. It's was like her arms were meant to hold him. He smiled to himself, remembering better times, and decided he

would help Caitlin. He wanted to fix things with the gang and be with Caitlin. He had to tell her the way he felt. Jude stood up and

grabbed Sally off the table. "Hey, where are you going?" Wyatt asked. "Oh umm… just gunna go boarding, you know on the

escalator and stuff." Jude lied. "Oh okay see you later bro…," Jonesy said. "Later" Jude said as he skated off towards the escalator.

_"Now all I have to do is find Cait…hmm maybe I should call her first."

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Still short, they all are, but hope you enjoyed it and R&R!

Cheers, Schmelly Inc.


	7. No One Wants to Hire a Lemon Squeezer

Here is chapter 7. Will Caitlin's attempts to get a new job succeed, we'll see... R&R and enjoy! Yet another short chapter!

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Chapter 7: No One Wants to Hire a Lemon Squeezer 

Caitlin stepped out of Albatross and Finch with a look of defeat, she had been to three stores already and no one would hire a

lemon squeezer. She headed to Grind Me to get some chocolate milk. Everyone knew that when she was bummed she would get

some chocolate milk. She grabbed her drink, paid her server, and headed back out of the store. She looked in the direction of the

food court and sighed, now that she couldn't go there she knew how much she loved that place. Caitlin sipped her drink, while

walking towards the information desk. She stared at the mall map and searched for a good place to apply._ "This is hopeless…_

_nobodies going to hire someone who worked in a giant lemon!" "If Jen were here, and not angry with me, she would find a _

_place for me. God, I miss them." _She tossed her empty cup in the garbage and gloomily sat down on a nearby bench. Just then her

cell started to ring. "Hmm maybe it's mom…" She picked up her phone and looked at the caller id, 'Jude' was plastered across it.

Her eyes welled up with tears, _"Oh… I can't talk to Jude, he probably just wants to yell at me, and then things will turn out _

_even worse." _She slowly put her phone back in her purse and wiped her tears.

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R&R, I love constructive critism! Next chapter:Jude's search for Caitlin begins!

Cheers!


	8. Tracking Down Caitlin

Hey here is the next chapter! Only one left after this one...

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Chapter 8: Tracking Down Caitlin 

Jude closed his cell phone,

_"I should have known she wouldn't of answered…hmm maybe I'll try her house."_

Jude flipped open his cell, scrolled down to 'Cait Home" and pressed call. Caitlin's mom answered,

"Hello?"

"Hi Mrs. Cooke, its Jude, is Caitlin there?" Jude asked.

"Sorry dear, she's not here, I dropped her off at the mall about an hour ago. She said she was going to try and get a new job." Mrs. Cooke replied.

"Oh Thanks Mrs. C, umm…do you know where she is by any chance?" Jude asked.

"Not really…sorry." she answered.

"Oh… That's okay, thanks anyways, bye Mrs. C." Jude snapped his phone shut, and hopped on his board.

"Well it looks like I've got to search the mall." _"Now where would I be if I were Caitlin in search of a job? Hmm… maybe I should try Albatross and Finch, she's always wanted to work there."_

Jude pushed off and headed to A&F. When he arrived there he peered in the store window to see if he could spot the small blonde. When he didn't see her through the window he went inside.

Jude walked up to one of the greeter gods and asked, "Hey dude, did a girl named Caitlin Cooke apply for a job here?"

The "god" stuck his nose in the air and said "Yeah… but we couldn't hire her cause she wanted the job way to much, she defies the detached egotism that A&F stands for."

"Right… so how long ago would you say that was?" Jude asked.

"Hmm… well I think it was about twenty minutes ago" the greeter answered.

"Well what way did she go when she left?" said Jude

"Man, what is with all the questions… well I wasn't paying that much attention to her but I'm pretty sure she headed for Grind Me." the greeter said, obviously irritated.

"Thanks dude!" Jude yelled behind him as he skated away.

"Whatever" the greeter muttered.

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Hope you enjoy it! Next and last chapter up soon... Will Jude be able tofind Caitlin? R&R 


	9. The Strength of Love

Here is the last chapter guys! Hope you guys enjoy it!

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Chapter 9: The Strength of Love 

Caitlin was still sitting on the bench outside Grind Me, staring at her feet. She didn't know what to do; she couldn't get a job, she

didn't have any friends, and she needed help. She thought things couldn't get any worse, but for her they did. Caitlin heard the

familiar sound of wheels scratching up the mall floor. She raised her head just in time to see Jude enter Grind Me.

_"Oh no I better leave, if he sees me… he'll probably get really upset." _

Caitlin scrambled to get her things, but ended up spilling the contents of her purse all over the floor.

_"Great going Caitlin."_ She mentally scolded herself.

She stole a quick glance at Grind Me and she froze. Jude had turned around and was looking right at her.

_"This can't be happening!" _She screamed inside her head.

Caitlin quickly shoved the last few things into her purse, but realized she was too late when she heard the screech of braking wheels on the mall floor. She stood up hastily, avoiding eye contact with Jude.

"Oh umm I'm really sorry, I'll be leaving now. I… shouldn't even be here, consider me gone." Caitlin said agitatedly.

She then started to hurry away, "No Cait, wait… I need to talk to you." Jude pleaded.

Caitlin slowly turned around, "You actually want to talk to me…why? What I did was horrible." Caitlin said quietly.

"Sure it wasn't really nice but… I could never hate you Cait. It was an accident, nothing more, I know you'd never do something like that if you knew it would hurt us." Jude said honestly.

Caitlin's heart swelled with happiness and she rushed over to Jude and hugged him.

_"This feels so right, I have to tell him…" _She thought.

She knew things would be better, she was so happy that she had Jude holding her, she knew he could help. Jude held her close, he had missed her so much.

_"I've never felt this strongly about anyone… I'm going to tell her how I feel... I have to"_

He lifted her head and wiped the tears that lay on her face. Caitlin gave Jude a small smile and rested her head on his chest.

"I thought you'd never speak to me again…" Caitlin whispered.

"If I never spoke to you again I could never tell you that …I love you." Jude said.

Caitlin gently raised her head, gazed into Jude's deep blue eyes and whispered "I love you too."

Jude grinned happily and then kissed her softly on the lips. Caitlin melted, she felt all warm and tingly, everything would be just fine.

The End... **or is it?**

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Well that's the last chapter...but there is a sequel in the making! Just having writer's block so it might take a while! Please R&R!

**Cheers!**


	10. Authors Note

Hey I just wanted to leave this note about this story. I have had way to much writers block to

come up with a good sequel to this story. It was suggested by Riane46 that I do an epilogue instead

of a sequel in one of her reviews, so I have decided that I will do that instead. I don't know how

long it will be until I finish it on account that I havent started yet but I will finish an epilogue for

you guys! It may not be for a while because my laptop has recently broken, it should be fixed

relatively soon!

Happy reading and writing!

Cheers, Schmelly Inc.


	11. Epilogue Part 1

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Hey everyone! This is the first part of the epilogue. I think that there will only be two parts but there

may be three. This is the first part, but the second part will mostly reveal who has forgiven Caitlin

and why and who has not forgiven her if there are any. Some might still hold a teensie grudge but

probably only one will have a major grudge.

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**Epilogue Part 1**

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A blonde haired boy on a skateboard flew by civilians carrying out their daily shopping. He

flicked a breath mint into his mouth as he jumped over a couple making out on a bench. The boy

grinded down the escalators towards the food court as if he was on auto pilot, his thoughts on

something else. He skated effortlessly around the many tables that littered the court. With ease he

did a slight jump and grabbed his board out from beneath him. He hit the ground gently and slowed

his jog to a walk. When he stopped he was at the counter of a huge lemon with a petite blonde girl

stationed behind it. The girl, absorbed in a fashion magazine, had not heard the skater's approach.

The girl realized the boy's presence as he slightly shifted his feet. The girl's emerald eyes held

pleasure, but a hint of confusion, as they met the cobalt blue eyes of the skater.

"Jude, I thought you said you'd meet me here on my lunch break,"

The small blonde looked at her pink watch.

"That's still an hour a..."

The girl's words were lost as Jude leaned over the counter and gently caressed her lips with his own.

The small blonde giggled through his kiss and reluctantly pulled away to catch her breath.

"Well, I decided to take the day off and chill out with you Cait." Jude said eagerly

as he moved around the counter and into the lemon with Caitlin. To answer him Caitlin wrapped her slender arms around his neck and affectionately kissed his nose.

"It's the best idea I've heard all day," She said coyly.

Jude flashed a grin and then gently slid his hands to her waist as he sat on the stool behind him. He

then took her by surprise by swiftly pulling her into his lap, which earned him a shriek of laughter

and a playful punch in the stomach. The cozy pair turned their gaze at the sound of approaching

footsteps. A teen their age, holding a coffee, grows closer with every step. His eyes are closed as he

savours the aroma of his freshly brewed latte. The teen takes a sip and lets out a sigh of

contentment. He then opens his eyes to survey the food court and check out their usual table in

front of The Big Squeeze...

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Well that's the first part of the epilogue. I know it doesn't give much away ... just Jude and Caitlin

fluff mostly but the next part will have more of how the gang resolved the problem and who is still

holding a grudge. I also know that it is short but that is all I thought should be put in.

Till then R&R:)

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	12. Epilogue Part 2

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Here is part two of the epilogue. I am almost done part three and estimate that there will be about

five or six parts. I hope you enjoy the second part everyone:)

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**Epilogue Part 2**

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**(Wyatt's POV)**

I felt a slight smile tug at the corners of my mouth as I spotted the two blondes sitting comfortably

behind the counter of the friendly looking lemon. As I grow closer to our usual table I hear the

voice of one of my best guy friends.

"Hey man, What's up?" Jude says to me as I take my usual seat.

"Not much, usual coffee breaks, usual pain in my heart, " I say gloomily. "Having to see Serena with Chad at work, EVERYDAY, is starting to take it's toll on me." I mutter before sinking my head to the table.

"Oh Wyatt, don't worry, I have the perfect plan to help you win Serena back." Caitlin tells me, her voice filled with determination and hope.

_Five days ago things would have been different. Caitlin wouldn't be anywhere near the food_

_court and wouldn't be helping me. When the gang was angry with Caitlin, I tryed to win back _

_Serena by myself. All of the ideas I came up with failed miserably. I wrote her a poem, a song, _

_and attempted to bring her coffee, just to name a few. She started avoiding me and eventually _

_said she would enforce a restraining order if I didn't leave her alone. Everything I had tried _

_had just pushed her further away. It didn't help that my friends were less sympathetic than I had _

_hoped they would be. Everyone was too caught up in their own problems to pay any attention to _

_mine. I would say that it was at that moment, when I was sitting alone and wallowing in my _

_problems, that I started to miss Caitlin. It's not that I didn't think that the rest of the gang could _

_have helped me. It's just that Caitlin has way more experience in that department, what with all _

_the magazines she reads. I also missed how she put her frineds needs in front of her own when _

_they were in a difficult situation. We were lucky to have her as a friend and I think we _

_undervalued how kind she is. Not having her there to help me really opened my eyes, not having _

_her for a friend was alot worse than any embarrassing secret or moment. She takes a remarkable _

_amount of care when it comes to helping out her friends and that is something that I really _

_admire._

I shake myself from my thoughts and look at Caitlin.

"So what's the plan?" I say as I lift my head off the table.

"Well my plan involves steps, I mean first we have to do some damage control. She did threaten you with a restraining order after all. The first step is basically giving her space. Only talk to her when you have to and only be around her when you have to be." Caitlin states firmly.

" That makes sense," I acknowledge.

"Also only, and only when, she becomes comfortable around you can we move on to step two. We'll know we can move on when SHE talks to you. When she goes to you to talk about things other than work, can we move on. So to be clear talking to you does not include her telling you where to put the new CD's or when to unstock a new shipment. Just give her time and leave her alone." Caitlin said gently. "It may be hard at times, but it's the only way to fix things." She assured me.

"I think I can do it, I really want her back. Seeing her with that bum really kills me." I mumble sadly.

"Don't worry dude, Chad's a loser and if she's smart, she'll realize it." Jude tells me with a supportive thumbs up.

"Thanks guys, I hope your right," I feel my chest shudder as I let out a sigh. " I guess I'll get a jump start on step one and take the rest of the day off."

I take another sip of my latte, hoping it will relieve me of the anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach.

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Well that's the second part! Hope you liked it and R&R :)

You guys know now that Wyatt isn't the grudge holder so you'll have to wait for the next part to see

if I put them in that one!

Cheers!

Oh! If there are any spelling mistakes that you find tell me cause I will fix them. I don't really mind grammar mistakes so much, unless they are really major ones.

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	13. Epilogue Part 3

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Okay, I'm done part three! It'll probably take me longer to write part four because of school, well

mostly homework but whatever! Here is the third part, I hope you enjoy it! I also just want to say

that I am not used to writing in the POV of Nikki so trust me I know I don't really capture her

essence...anyways on with the show!

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**Epilogue Part 3**

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**(Nikki's POV)**

_Man, it feels like I do this everyday!_

I think to myself as I toss some ugly Khaki Barn sweaters carelessly into a pile. I take a seat on a

counter nearest me and reach into my pocket. My fingers hit the cool metallic surface of my phone,

I wrap my hand around it and pull it out of my pant pocket. I'm left disappointed when I read the

time displayed on my open phone.

"Uggh, this sucks. Still a half hour till closing." I mutter bitterly as I shut my phone, rather

forcefully, and shove it back into my pocket. I hop off the counter and head to the only vacant

change room in the back. I pull open the heavy wooden door, head inside, and then lock the door

behind me. I sit comfortably in the corner. Absent mindedly I tuck a few strands of my violet hair

behind my ear. When I look up, my eyes are greeted by a huge poster hanging on the wall.

_Kirsten, the new employee of the month...what a airhead. The "prestigious" award that Kristin _

_and Kirsten had been talking about all month. _

I snicker quietly as an idea pops into my head. As I stand up I pluck the piece of gum I had been

chewing from my mouth and slowly roll it between my fingers. I reach up and gingerly place it just

below one of her nostrils.

_Sure this is probably one of my more feeble ideas for entertainment but I have been working all _

_day!_

I step back to admire my work and a smirk sneaks it's way onto my face, replacing the bored

expression that had been glued to my face all morning. I return to my corner. As I take my seat I feel

my thoughts wander to a certain boy.

_Jonesy. The tall ebony haired boy who I've always had a soft spot for. I always have to _

_concentrate so hard when he speaks to me for fear that I will get lost in his deep russet eyes. The_

_eyes that always shine when they shift their gaze to me...as if they hold a secret._

My face twists into a grimace as anger clouds my thoughts of affection. I feel my nails dig into the

tender skin of my palms as my fists clench. I punch the wall and release some of the rage I always

seem to have bottled up. I ignore the pain that starts to envelop my hand; push it to the back of my

mind.

_Why can't I be true to myself? Why! I always push him away, afraid to let him or anyone no the_

_way I feel. Is it that I don't want to ruin a sixteen year friendship...or is that what I make myself _

_believe..?_

My chest rises and then falls as I let out a deep sigh. A single tear makes it's gentle journey down

my cheek. I quickly wipe the glistening trace of my tear when I hear the annoying voice of my

boss, Chrissy.

"Nikki! Get out of that changeroom!" I hear her scream through the wood of the door.

"I need you to stop slacking and man the cash register! You are really trying my patience today!" She

yells, as she furiously knocks on the door. I make a face in disgust.

_God, just hearing her voice makes me want to strangle her!_

"Yeah! Yeah! Don't burst any blood vessels!" I say wearily as I exit.

"I am this close to firing you Nikki," She warns me.

"Oh, well tell me when your this close," I say with a slight hand gesture, "but do me a favor and tell

me when I get back from my break." I say over my shoulder as I head for the Khaki Barn exit.

I make my way over to an empty bench and sit down. I pull out my phone to call Caitlin.

_If anyone can help me with a guy problem, it's her._

I scroll down to "Miss Malibu" and press call. I pick at a loose thread on my pants as I wait for her

to pick up.

"What's up dudette?" I hear a guy ask.

"Jude? Is Caitlin with you?" I ask anxiously.

"Yeah, did you want to talk to her?"

"Yeah, that's kind of why I called HER phone. Anyways, can you put her on?" I ask quickly.

"Sure thing."

I hear my name among the words exchanged between the two and then I hear a clear, kind voice say

my name.

"Nikki? What's up?" Caitlin says, the concern evident in her voice.

"Cait, I really need your help...it has to do with a guy." I say uneasily.

"This guy wouldn't happen to be Jonesy, would it?" She guesses.

_Okay, I guess it was kind of obvious, Jude probably could've figured it out._

"Yes it is, but it's also about me and my feelings. I'm all confused." I sigh quietly.

"Oh Nikki...why didn't you tell me sooner?" I hear her say gently, the worry underlying her words.

"Oh, I dunno...It's always been an instinct to me, I've locked away my feelings for as long as I can

remember." I admit wearily.

"You don't have to do that Nikki, you can tell me and Jen everything...were your girls. We have

your back," Caitlin conveys to me. "I mean I understand why you wouldn't want to tell the guys

about stuff like this, they don't usually know what they're talking about." she teases.

"Hey! Of course us guys know what were talking about." I hear Jude say in the backround.

"Of course you do..." I hear her say sarcastically.

"You know it babe." Jude says, oblivious to the sarcasm that had laced her words.

"See what I mean?" Caitlin whispers.

I feel my lips curl into a genuine smile for the first time that day.

"I see exactly what you mean Cait." I say with a small laugh.

"So do you want to come down to the lemon? It's only me and Jude. Wyatt was here, but he left a

few minutes ago to get a head start on my plan." Caitlin tells me.

"Do I want to know about your plan" I ask, before switching my phone to the other ear.

"Well its just a basic step program to help Wyatt win back Serena," Caitlin says simply. "So do you

think you'll come down?" She asks me again.

"I think I'll pass, I was just going to go home anyway. I'll probably call you later tonight though, you

know...to talk." I told her evasively.

"No problem...I guess I'll talk to you later then."

"Thanks Cait, say goodbye to Jude for me!" I say before closing my phone.

My eyes linger on my phone as my mind strays from reality and shifts to my innermost thoughts.

_What would I ever do without such great friends? I know that I don't always show how much I _

_appreciate them but I hope that my appreciation doesn't need to be seen, to be known and _

_recognized. I feel ashamed when I think about a certain friend that I have undervalued. One that _

_is still eager to help me despite the numerous times I have called her a barbie. The one who may_

_seem self-absorbed and annoying, but is actually one of the most caring and devoted friends_

_that I have ever had. I remember when Caitlin told our secrets to her at-the-time boyfriend, _

_Dustin. He in turn spilled our secrets in public, to hundreds. I was furious. However, I regret the _

_way we treated her after she desperately tried to fix things. She publically displayed her _

_embarassing moment, to the whole mall and showed us the good sides to our seemingly terrible _

_secrets. We were really harsh on her; she lost her dignity, her boyfriend, and her friends that day. _

_At times when we sat at our table, I would find myself staring at the lemon. It seemed like at any _

_minute the top would pop open and she would start complaining about her uniform or her _

_broken blender. The moment I realized just how much I needed her back, was when Jonesy and _

_me had another one of our falling outs. That of which had increased ever since we had kicked_

_her out of our lives. At first I confided in Jen, but she didn't have the same technique as Caitlin._

_Jen didn't give me the best advice firstly because Jonesy is her step-brother, secondly because_

_she is against friends dating friends, and lastly because she relates love problems to sport _

_stategies. When Caitlin had helped me in the past she had taken things slowly, but Jen wanted_

_results that didn't involve Jonesy. She pressured me to look for new guys, yelled at me, bossed _

_me around, and was not fun to be with. She treated her "soloutions" like drills and quite frankly_

_didn't help me. I decided to call Caitlin. I forgave her and apologized for the way I...we treated_

_her. She is such a supportive friend and I guess our anger had blinded us; we didn't remember _

_all the good memories that we had shared with her._

A shopper's unyielding bag jostles me from my thoughts as it hits my leg. I glare at the receding

back of the heavy-handed customer and grumble a few mild threats. I move my hand to my sore

limb and slowly massage the ache away. I rise from the bench and head towards the parking lot to

catch a bus home. Lost in thought, I am unaware of the inattentive boy headed for a collision with

me. My head hits the boy's warm torso as we collide.

"Watch where you're going!" I shout angrily, as I recoil from the impact.

I hear a deep and familiar voice as I finish adjusting my hair; my heart freezes in my chest.

"Nikki? I didn't see you, I guess I wasn't watching where I was going."

I hear the words but my brain doesn't register any of them. Silence greets his words which seems to

leave him confused.

"Nikki, are you okay?"

My throat tightens and my mind can't seem to form a sentence. I feel his hand on the bare skin of my

arm; the touch tender. The heat from his fingers seems to break me from my paralyzed state. I pull

away from his touch. The heat lingers on my skin; like puddles after a storm. I see the worry edge

into his eyes; turning them dark and dusky.

_I have to get out of here! I can't deal with this right now!_

I shuffle my feet backwards, distancing myself from him. He extends his hand to me in concern;

however, this only drives me further away. As if seeing the uneasiness in my eyes he drops his hand

silently to his side.

"I'm sorry...I have to go," I say quietly, my words tainted by the emotions racing through my mind.

I hear him intake a breath and then start to protest.

"But..."

I turn my back to to cut him off.

"I need to sort out some things...I'll see you later Jonesy."

My legs feel like lead as I walk towards the exit; my mind screams at me, and my breath stays

trapped in my lungs. Only when I feel the cool breeze from outside hit my face, do I release my

imprisoned air. I head towards the nearest bus with a heavy-heart; the familiar sting of tears arising

once again in my eyes.

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Well there we have it, the third part! I hope whoever reads it enjoys it and i hope you review it! Do you think I have improved at all? Tell me what you think or just what you liked. I love comments and reviews so I hope I hear from you! Part four might take awhile as I said before just cause of school and homework!

Cheers, Schmelly Inc. :)

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	14. Epilogue Part 4

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**Hey everyone! I know I havent updated this in a while, I kind of gave up on it for a bit... but now I'm back on this story! I started and finished this chapter in dire urgency to get it to you guys. I hope you enjoy it!**

**Remember to R&R!**

**-Luv ya,**

**Schmelly Inc.

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Epilogue Part Four **

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**Jonesy POV:**

I can literally feel my heart breaking as I watch Nikki walk towards the mall exit. Half-heartedly, I turn around and head in the direction of the food court.

"_I know this is all my fault…I always try to pick a fight with her. I guess it's because I want to feel like we __can actually express some emotion towards each other…even if it's only anger."_

I feel my shoulders slump in shame,

"_I can't believe this is what our friendship has been reduced to. I've been trying so hard to somehow _

_create a stronger connection with her, but every time I try we end up fighting. Honestly, all I've been _

_doing is destroying any chance of mending our broken bond. I can still remember, so clearly, the way she _

_pulled away from my touch; the way her eyes filled with…fear. Those eyes haunt me, make me feel like _

_some kind of monster. All I want is for her to understand that I want to help her; be there for her through _

_everything. I feel like I'm going crazy…nothing I try to do comes even remotely close to repairing the _

_shattered window that is our relationship. Instead I keep stomping on all the pieces; making them _

_impossible to see. I'm so close to giving up…maybe this is all a lost cause. Right now, being friends is _

_obviously just not going to happen. We subconsciously punch holes into each other until there's just _

_nothing left to hurt."_

I let go of my train of thought, it being too painful to continue, and look up to take in my surroundings. The

familiar shops and smells of the food court reach my eyes and nose. I easily spot the familiar, cheery yellow

of the Big Squeeze and our usual table stationed just in front of it. Upon seeing the huge lemon my mood

lifts…for a fraction of a second. My heart twinges painfully and, for the second time that day, I feel it crack. I

recognize two blondes seated cozily behind the counter, savoring the affection they share. I feel my heart

aching; longing to have a similar relationship with the only girl I have loved, Nikki. I shake my head and

unclench my fist, which moments before was drawn to release my pain. Stifling my inward struggle, I

continue towards our regular table.

"What's going on guys?"

"Oh, hey Jonesy…where have you been? This is like the first time I've seen you all day," Caitlin told me worriedly.

"Yeah man, you usually pass by the store on your way to work."

"Well I came in kind of late and then got fired. I was pretty bummed so I just kind of walked around the mall a bit."

"I totally understand dude, I do the same thing, you know, get my mellow on…"

"Yeah ,I just needed to think some things through…" I murmured sadly.

"Jonesy? Is something wrong? You don't seem like yourself…"

I raise my head to look at her face, her eyes filled with kindness and concern.

"_Come on Jonesy! You can tell your friends anything, you know that your problems are eating you up. _

_Caitlin reads all those magazines and always makes time to help her friends, Jude has been your bro for _

_as long as you can remember. If you can't trust your friends, who can you trust? _

"No…I mean yes, I mean…I don't know!" I cry in anguish. I weakly sink my head to the table, my emotions draining my strength.

I feel a small hand softly squeeze my hand and another, larger hand, rest supportively on my back.

"Jonsey, tell us what's wrong. Jude and me will do everything we can to help you. No matter what, we won't let you go through this alone."

I tighten my grip on Caitlin's hand slightly, in thanks. I'm not sure what I would've done without them.

"Well you see, Nikki and me have been fighting so much recently. I just don't know what I'm doing

anymore, everything I do only seems to push her further away. It feels like we're not even friends anymore. I want so badly to feel like friends again, I always thought that by this time in my life we would be going out. I've been in love with her since grade four…"

"I knew it dude!"

"Jude, shush. Jonesy and Nikki aren't exactly anywhere close to being a couple, we need to fix their friendship first."

"Oh, yeah…"

"Okay…Jonesy, Nikki spoke to us today, and I know we probably shouldn't be telling you this, but she's scared of being in a relationship with you. She's afraid to let people in because she doesn't want to get hurt, she's scared that if you guys were in a relationship, it would end. She doesn't want to lose you. It's kind of ironic, by pushing you away and trying to save your friendship, she's actually doing more damage, than taking a stab at a intimate relationship."

"So, she loves me?"

"As much as you love her, dude."

"But what should I do? I mean, trying to talk to her isn't working and I want to stop fighting."

"Jonesy, you have to give her some time…try sending her an e-mail saying that you want to talk, but make sure you let her know that she doesn't have to talk if she's not ready. Give her a day first though, she's in a very sensitive state."

"Thanks guys, I hope that I can fix things with her…at least to the point that we can be friends again. Nikki means so much to me and if I have to win back her trust as just a friend first, I will. I don't want to lose her…"

"Don't worry man, we know you can do it. When you care about someone a lot, you can always find a way."

I noticed the tender glance Jude and Caitlin shared, after he reassured me, and this time, their signs of

adoration, spread a warm feeling in my chest. A hope that there was still a chance for me and Nikki to share a

caring relationship not unlike their own.

"I'll see you later guys, I'm gunna head home."

"Good luck Jonesy! Remember, when she's ready to talk, make sure you are too."

"Yeah, Good luck man!"

"Thank again guys!" I shout over my shoulder as I head out of the food court. I find myself smiling, the prospect of finally fixing my relationship with Nikki, fresh in my mind.

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**Well, thats part four! I'm not sure when I'll be done part five...I guess you'll know when I update. I hope you enjoyed reading part four as much as I enjoyed writing it! Until next time...**

**Remember to R&R!**

**-Luv,**

**Schmelly Inc. :)

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